


Rewrite The Stars

by fairywoojin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Chan Is A Little, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Woojin Is His Caregiver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-17 17:03:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16978509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairywoojin/pseuds/fairywoojin
Summary: "Come on, Channie," he says gently. “I just want you to tell me what's botheri-""...daddy no yell?"There it was. The crack Woojin had been expecting-no,welcoming. It had been far too long since Chan had dropped, and Woojin knew that it was only a matter of time before it happened again.“No, baby, daddy won’t yell.”





	1. Chapter 1

To say that he was stressed would be an understatement. Whatever came _after_ being stressed, that's about where Chan was, and it was only getting worse with comeback season getting closer and closer. He felt bad about breaking the promise he made to Woojin and Felix about not working so hard, but he couldn't help it. He was a workaholic, and the migraine and nauseousness that came with being sleep deprived were all too familiar now. They got easier to ignore by the day, and nobody but Woojin ever noticed that something was almost always off when it came to their leader's bright, cheerful smile.

"Seungmin and Minho wanted pizza for dinner, so Changbin told them that we'd just order in for the night." Woojin stands silently in the doorway, leaning against the wooden door frame while remaining conscious of the threshold that divided Chan's bedroom from the rest of the house. He knew that the younger didn't like unwanted visitors, and even when the door was open, he always made it a point not to set foot inside unless Chan gave permission first. "I haven't seen you eat anything all day, and was just wondering if you wanted any particular topping before I called. Jeongin and Felix want pineapple and mushrooms, and Hyunjin said he'll take anything as long as it doesn't have sausage or banana peppers."

"No," Chan says softly, without looking up from his laptop. "I don't want anything special. I'll just...grab whatever is there." Both he and Woojin knew that was a lie, but Woojin didn't contradict it. He just nods, and walks off without another word.

 

 

"Is everything okay with Chan hyung?" Jeongin asks. Everyone bolted as soon as dishes were mentioned, which left Woojin and Jeongin in charge of cleaning up for the night. "I don't think I've seen him leave his room all day, and even Changbin has been decent enough not to hover." Woojin internally groans at Jeongin's instinctual awareness, making a mental note to give the boy more credit where it was due. He might have been the youngest, but his empathetic nature and strong sense of awareness had matured him far beyond his years. Or, at least in comparison to Felix and Jisung, who were young and too oblivious for their own good.

"He's just...stressed," Woojin supplies, not really knowing how else to word it. It was obvious that something was going on, but he didn't know why or to what extent. He breaks down the last pizza box and stacks it atop the other three, and grabs the paper plate he had set aside for Chan earlier. "I'm gonna go talk to him. Have Hyunjin walk you to the dumpster, okay? It's dark and I don't want you out there by yourself."

Jeongin nods, and tosses a cold water bottle in Woojin's direction. "I'll ask Seungmin, Hyunjin doesn't listen to anybody but you or Chan."

Woojin catches the water bottle with his free hand, giving Jeongin a small smile before leaving the kitchen and making his way upstairs. His heart is pounding for some reason, and he wonders why he suddenly feels nervous. It wasn't like him to get antsy, but there was nothing he could do about it as he slowly approaches Chan's bedroom door, and taps the water bottle lightly against the center. "Chan, can I come in?"

 

 

The silence was agonizing, and Woojin was struggling to figure out what was worse. The fact that the silence was uncomfortable, or the fact that Chan was just sitting there, refusing to eat or speak, or even make any eye contact with him. It wasn't like Chan to act up like this, and it was driving Woojin crazy being unable to pinpoint what exactly the problem was. "Come on, Channie," he says gently, not moving from his spot against the wall. He wanted to get closer, to pull the younger into a hug and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but he knew that boundaries were in place for a reason, and he didn't want to risk pushing Chan over the edge just because he was getting frustrated at the lack of progress they were making. "I just want you to tell me what's botheri-"

"...daddy no yell?"

There it was. The crack Woojin had been expecting-no, _welcoming_. It had been far too long since Chan had dropped, and Woojin knew that it was only a matter of time before it happened again. He hadn't been trying to force it, by any means, but was silently almost hoping that the use of his nickname would have had some effect on him, that it would bring about the head change that Chan so desperately needed.

"No, baby, daddy won't yell."

Chan nods, and makes eye contact with Woojin for the first time all night. "No pizza. Feel ickies today."

Woojin walks across the room and grabs the paper plate off of Chan's bed, and sets it aside onto the desk. It wasn't uncommon for Chan to change his mind while in little space, and Woojin had long since learned that throwing things away would only result in an unnecessary temper tantrum. "Can daddy sit on your bed?" He always tried his best to let the younger decide things, even when they seemed small and inconsequential. Just because Woojin wanted to be close to him, that didn't mean that Chan wanted him to be. "I need you to use your words, baby boy. Daddy won't know what to do unless you tell him."

"Daddy lay down with Channie?" The soft plea in Chan's words made Woojin want to cry. His eyes were wide, and the way he held his arms out so pathetically almost made him keel over. Chan needed this, they both knew it, but Woojin had yet to figure out why he had been so reluctant to drop lately. If anything, he should have welcomed the time with Woojin. Comeback season was no joke, and Chan always took it upon himself to shoulder the burden from the rest of the members, so much that he all but forgets to take care of himself. Woojin smiles as he settles into bed with Chan, pulling his baby in as close to him as he possibly can. They needed to talk, for sure, but that was definitely a job for Bang Chan because as of right now, his little Channie was the only one that mattered. "Love you, daddy."

"You know daddy loves you too, Channie."


	2. Chapter 2

Woojin didn’t expect little Chan to stick around beyond the few hours they spent cuddling in bed, and groggily opens his eyes when a soft “ _Daddy?_ ” comes from the other side of the bed.

“Daddy’s here,” he says with a yawn. “What’s wrong, baby?” Chan doesn’t say anything, and Woojin stretches for a moment before pulling the blanket down a little and sleepily rolling over. It was daylight out, which surprised him because little Chan almost never slept a full night without waking him up at least once. “What is it, Channie? Remember what daddy said about using your words.”

Chan sits up, using his elbow as leverage, and flicks his eyes toward Changbin’s empty bed and back to Woojin again. “Binnie see daddy sleepies here last night?” His voice was just barely above a whisper, and Woojin felt his heart break at the slight tremor in his words. Even little Chan was self aware enough to know that their relationship was unorthodox, and he hated the fact that they had to keep everything so muted.

 _Maybe_ _it_ _would_ _be_ _easier_ _for_ _him_ _to_ _drop_ _if_ _we_ _didn’t_ _have_ _to_ _be_ _so_ _secretive_ , Woojin thinks to himself. He wraps one arm around Chan’s waist and runs the other one through his hair a few times before softly resting it on his cheek. “Don’t worry, bubby. Binnie had a sleepover with Minho, Lixie, and Innie last night.” It wasn’t a lie, per se, being that Changbin really _had_ swapped roommates with him for the night, though none of them were particularly thrilled about it. Changbin snored, and the only reason he and Chan roomed together was because Chan was the only one that didn’t seem to mind rooming with a chainsaw. “Are you hungry?”

“No want food. I feel ickies.” Chan rolls over and brings his knees into his chest, adjusting himself so that Woojin is spooning him from behind. “Have tummy ache, daddy.”

Woojin sighs as he tries his best to suppress a groan. He knew exactly why Chan wasn’t feeling well, and it wouldn’t get any better if he kept refusing to eat. “ _Channie_ ,” he says in a firm, yet still gentle voice. He wraps an arm around the younger’s shoulder and takes Chan’s hand in his, tracing small circles just above the younger’s thumb. “I need you to be honest with me, baby boy. Can you do that?” Chan nods and Woojin takes that as a good sign. “Can you tell daddy the last thing you ate?” He was going to wait until Chan was out of little space to ask, but he couldn’t help it. He was worried.

“Mm,” Chan hums, trying hard to get the wheels in his head to turn. “A Cheeto.”

“A Cheeto,” Woojin repeats. That didn’t tell him anything. He couldn’t remember the last time anybody had bought Cheetos. “Where did you get a Cheeto from? And was it one singular Cheeto? Or did you have more than one?”

“It was...” Chan takes a moment to count on his fingers. “...five. Innie got gift bag when Channie took him to the dentist on Tuesday. Inside was Cheetos and toothpaste and dental floss and no sugar candies. Channie wanted candy but Innie say no and give me Cheetos instead.”

This was the most animated Woojin had seen Chan in almost a month, and he would have been happy about that, ecstatic even, if he didn’t just admit that he hadn’t eaten in three days. “ _What?_ ” Woojin exclaims. He sits up in bed and looks down at Chan with an expression somewhere between mild disappointment  and overwhelming concern. “But today is Friday! Do you really mean to tell me-“

“Daddy say last night that he no yell.”

 _Right_. Woojin couldn’t raise his voice while Chan was in little space. It was part of the agreement they had, and it takes every ounce of energy Woojin has to calm down enough to speak rationally. “Channie is right,” he begins after a moment. “Daddy said he wouldn’t yell. I’m sorry. I’m just...Tuesday was _three_ days ago, baby boy. Why haven’t you eaten? Don’t you want to be healthy?” He grabs Chan gently by the wrist and pulls him upright into a sitting position, wanting the other to make eye contact with him. Little Chan was an awfully bad liar, and it didn’t take long for Woojin to notice that his ears turned red when he bent the truth.

Chan says nothing for a few minutes, awkwardly shifting back and forth while trying to avoid looking directly at Woojin. He knew he wouldn’t get in trouble, but that didn’t mean that he wanted to come clean. “I don’t know,” he finally says, ears already giving him away. “Channie have too much in here.” He points a finger to his head, repeatedly tapping it onto his forehead. “Lots of peoples in there say to Channie that workies more better than foods and sleeps.”

Woojin couldn’t believe how simple he made it sound. There had to have been more to it beyond just being a workaholic, but he decided to let it go for the moment, being that he was grateful to have gotten any insight at all. He runs a hand through Chan’s long hair and presses a light kiss to his forehead before maneuvering himself up and out of bed. “Daddy’s going to make you some breakfast. Come out to the kitchen when you’re ready, okay? You won’t get strong like daddy and Hyunjinnie if you don’t take care of your body, baby.”

Chan shakes his head and covers his face with his blanket. “But I don’t wanna.”

“Do you want to stand in the corner all morning? Binnie doesn’t have to come back. He can keep having sleepovers in daddy’s room if Channie wants to be a bad boy.”

“Channie will eat,” Chan replies from under his blanket, sounding like what Woojin could only describe as a deflated balloon. “Channie want french toasts.”

“You got it.” Woojin takes one last glance at Chan’s blanket cocoon, and sighs internally as he walks out into the hallway. He hadn’t gotten to the bottom of things, but at least he learned _something_. A chat with Chan was definitely in order when the younger fell out of little space, but for now, he needed to find Minho. Even if he didn’t know how to fix it, Woojin believed wholeheartedly that he’d know how to help.


	3. Chapter 3

Minho rubs his eyes with the palm of his hand and winces under the bright fluorescent lights as Woojin pulls him into the bathroom. He didn’t know what was going on, but judging by the fact that Woojin double locked the door behind them, he knew it couldn’t be good.

“Been a while since we’ve had an early morning rendezvous,” he murmurs, trying to make light of the situation. He knew Woojin didn’t drag him out of bed to fool around, and takes a seat on the edge of the bathtub as he patiently waits for the other to explain. “I slept like shit last night. I don’t know how Chan hyung puts up with Changbin’s snoring. He sounds like a fucking train wreck.”

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about,” Woojin whispers, looking toward the door as if he were waiting for somebody to kick it down. “Chan, that is. Not Changbin.” He kicks the toilet seat down with his foot and sits down with his hands folded in his lap, unsure where to even start. Minho was the only one in the dorm that knew the dynamics of their relationship, and that was only because Woojin didn’t want to lie to him when he told him that they had to stop fooling around. But, even with his insider’s knowledge, that didn’t make the situation any easier or less awkward to talk about. “He’s...in little space right now.”

The look on Minho’s face is thoughtful and nonjudgmental, and his soft smile calms Woojin’s nerves almost instantly. “Oh yeah? Is that why you shoved Changbin into our room last night?”

Woojin shrugs. “More or less, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about.” He takes a deep breath and holds it for a moment before slowly exhaling through his mouth. He knew Chan would be upset when he figured out that he was talking behind his back, but he didn’t know what else to do. “He told me he didn’t feel good, so I asked what he last ate because I wanted to pinpoint when the last time he ate was without actually _asking_ when he last ate.” Woojin found that being indirect was almost easier when needing a specific answer because it gave Chan the opportunity to make the decision to answer on his own. It was weird and it took longer to acquire whatever information Woojin was looking for, but it worked.

“And?” Minho prompts, leaning in closer to Woojin. “What did he tell you?”

“It was a handful of Cheetos. On Tuesday.” Woojin buries his face in his hands and tries not to groan. “Why didn’t I know this? What the fuck type of caretaker am I if I can’t even make sure he eats?”

Minho slides across the edge of the bathtub until he’s sitting directly next to Woojin, and rests his head on the elder’s shoulder. “You _do_ know that the word daddy doesn’t bother me, right? C’mon, Woojin, don’t downplay your relationship like that just because we used to sleep together.” He takes Woojin’s hand in his and presses a light kiss to the back of his knuckles before intertwining their fingers and dropping them onto his lap. “You already have to hide things from everyone else. Don’t do it with the one person you can actually be open with. What did you tell Chan when he said that?”

Woojin squeezes Minho’s palm, wondering just how he’d managed to snag such an amazing friend. “I told him that he was going to eat if he didn’t want to stand in the corner all day. I’m _supposed_ to be making him french toast right now, but I needed to talk to you first. He only lets me take care of him while he’s in little space, and this is the first time he’s dropped in over a month. How am I supposed to make sure Chan doesn’t deteriorate when _Channie_ is the only one that wants me to help? I don’t know what to do, Minho. He’s gonna give himself a heart attack by the time he’s twenty five and I don’t know if I can cope with that.”

“Hey, hey, calm down, okay? We don’t need you going into hysterics this early in the morning.” Minho wraps his arms around Woojin’s torso and brings him in close, kissing the top of his head before resting his chin atop the elder’s messy bedhead. “Honestly, I think you and I both know that your best bet is just going to be to talk to him. There’s gotta be a reason behind his reluctance to drop, and you’re never gonna figure it out if the two of you keep beating around the bush like you have been. You don’t only care about him while he’s in little space and he needs to realize that.”

Woojin sighs into Minho’s chest and gives a small nod in response before pulling away and standing up. Minho hadn’t told him anything he didn’t already know, but hearing somebody voice your thoughts always seemed to make things easier for whatever reason, and for that, Woojin was beyond grateful. “Has anybody ever told you that you’re the best?”

“A certain someone might have mentioned it once or twice,” Minho says with a smile. “You should probably hurry, though. That french toast isn’t going to cook itself.”


	4. Chapter 4

“The fuck is with you guys?” Chan looks from Hyunjin to Felix, who was laying face down on the carpet with Hyunjin sitting cross legged beside him. It was too early to even be out of bed, let alone doing... _whatever_ this was. “And why are you in the hallway? Move before you get stepped on, Felix.”

“He’s having a bit of...a breakdown.” Hyunjin pats Felix on the head, running his fingers through his hair a few times before resting his palm in the small of his back. “A bisexual one.”

“Oh.” Chan nods, needing no more of an explanation than that. He was all too familiar with _that_ type of stress, and was just happy that Woojin actually liked him back. “Same. Where’s Woojin?”

Hyunjin nods toward the kitchen. “The very source of all your bisexual problems and tendencies. He’s in the kitchen, I think. Said something about french toast and eggs.”

Chan says nothing, only shaking his head as he carefully steps over Felix and heads down the hall.

 

 

“Jisung, I swear to god, the next time you send Felix into a gay panic-“

“I’m _bisexual_ , and I _don’t_ panic.”

“You call falling over and laying face down in the middle of hallway not panicking?”

“ _What_? When did he do that?”

“I just wanna know what Jisung did to him because _last_ _time_ he locked himself in the bathroom and hyperventilated.”

“Who? Jisung? Or Felix?”

“Why would Jisung lock himself in the bathroom and-“

Breakfast was chaotic, and Chan was finding it hard to hear himself think over the chatter and loud accusations that were taking place across the table. He loved mornings like this, mornings that gave him the opportunity not to think or stress. He liked having his mind occupied, even if it was by senseless garbage that wouldn’t matter once breakfast had ended. He wished stuff like that would last forever, especially when the source of all his problems, bisexual and otherwise, kept glancing at him as if he were ready to tackle him the second Chan decided to bolt. He knew there was no escaping Woojin this morning, and dreaded every second that led up to breakfast finally coming to an end.

“We have a meeting with JYP this morning, don’t forget. Minho and Seungmin, you’re on kitchen duty ‘cause you two take the least amount of time to get ready. Everyone else, just make sure you’re down by the carpool within the next hour. We can’t afford to be late again.” Chan gives Jisung a _look_ , making the younger boy cower under the sudden scrutiny. “Whatever you did to Felix this morning, don’t do it again. He’s about as useful as a white crayon when you get him all riled up like you do.”

“All I did was kiss him,” Jisung mumbles, face going red. “It’s not like I shoved my hand down his pants or anything.”

“While I do appreciate the unwanted visual that I now need to bleach away from my brain, please just go, and do us all a favor and keep your hands to yourself. I need to talk to Woojin hyung. I can’t afford to treat Felix like porcelain right now, we’re on a time crunch and being late is only going to make JYP even more pissed off at _me_.”

“Wait, JYP is pissed at you?” Woojin shoos the younger members down the hall, giving Jisung a light pat on the butt in an effort to get him going, and quickly walks over to Chan’s side without hesitation. “What the fuck happened? Is that why you’ve been so stressed lately?”

“He’s _always_ stressed,” Seungmin points out as he walks past them with an armful of dirty dishes. “Chan hyung doesn’t know how to relax.”

Chan exhales sharply through his nose, rolling his eyes as he grabs Woojin by the wrist. “Come on, we need to talk.”

 

 

The silence was awkward, though it wasn’t as nearly bad as the previous night. Chan brings his knees into his chest as Woojin takes a seat on Changbin’s empty bed, and sucks in a breath when the elder opens his mouth to speak.

“I thought I was going to have to hunt you down after breakfast. I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me willingly,” Woojin says quietly. “What’d you do to get on JYP’s bad side?”

“It’s a long story.” A long story that Chan didn’t particularly _want_ to talk about, but he knew that he could only avoid it for so long. “It’s stupid. He told me that the lyrics to _I_ _Am_ _You_ were weak and that they needed to be adjusted if we wanted any chance at it being our album’s title. You know me, I don’t normally take those things to heart, but for some reason it _really_ made me angry that day, and I-“

“Nobody’s perfect, Chan, no matter how hard you try to be.” Woojin’s voice is soft, carrying no judgement or harshness, and that kind thoughtfulness is all it takes for Chan to slip. He didn’t want to cry, but he couldn’t stop the tears from outwardly betraying him, and welcomes Woojin’s embrace with open arms when the elder walks across the room and pulls him into a hug. “I don’t know why you always feel like you have to shoulder things on your own like this. It’s not healthy.”

“I don’t care about being healthy. I care about being good at what I do, and making sure that you guys have a strong enough platform to be able to do well at what _you_ do.” Chan’s entire body is trembling, and it feels as if Woojin’s arms are the only things preventing him from falling apart completely. He hated the responsibility that came with being leader, but always tried his best to deal with it because he didn’t want that stress to be passed onto somebody else. He didn’t want his own incompetence to put the others at risk, and clung to Woojin out of sheer desperation and fear that his worst nightmare was going to come true. “I’m digging my own grave, hyung. Everyone knows it, but I can’t do anything to stop it from happening. There’s too much that I-“

“Stop.” It was only one word, but it was filled with enough power to stop Chan’s near hysteric rambling dead in its’ tracks. Woojin tightens his embrace around the younger’s torso, and lightly presses a kiss to his forehead before pulling back just the slightest bit. “You’re so obsessed with making sure that everybody else is taken care of, that you forget that you also need to be taken care of. That’s not okay, Chan, and I wish you’d stop pushing me away whenever I try to let myself in. I don’t only care about you when _Channie_ comes out to play, you have to understand that.”

Chan visibly cringes at the use of his nickname, and sighs into Woojin’s chest as thoughts of early this morning come in flashes. He hadn’t meant to drop, and had been silently cursing himself since. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“Why are you always apologizing for things that don’t require an apology?” Woojin drops his arms to his lap, keeping hold of only one of Chan’s hands as he plays with the hem of the younger’s jacket sleeve. “You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to do any of this. Starving yourself for no reason? Refusing to to just fucking relax for once? Christ, Chan, you’re killing yourself here, and the fact that you just _won’t_ come to me is really making me feel like a shitty person!” They weren’t dating, not exactly, but their relationship had gone well past the friendly intimacy of being _just_ _friends_ when Chan had accidentally dropped in front of Woojin three months prior. It all started from there, and escalated to the point of Woojin even halting things with Minho because it just didn’t feel right. His feelings for Chan were genuine, and he liked to think that Chan’s were, too, even if he hadn’t shown it much over the last month. “Why won’t you let me take care of you?”

“Because it’s humiliating, Woojin.” Chan’s voice is harsh now, and he pulls his hand away from Woojin’s in favor of crossing his arms over his chest. “ _I’m_ the leader. _I’m_ the one that should be taking care of you guys. I hate the fact that something so trivial as being taken care of means so fucking much to me when it shouldn’t. How the fuck am I supposed to make sure you guys are getting where you need to be when I can’t even do it for myself.”

Woojin stares at Chan with an open mouth, unable to believe what he had just heard. He didn’t realize that feeling vulnerable was such a sore point with him, and felt his heart sink as he tried to blink away tears. “Is it so hard to believe that we love you? That _I_ love you, and that I just want what’s best for you, too?” It had only been three months since they started doing...whatever they wanted to call things between them, but Woojin meant it every time those three words left his mouth, both as himself _and_ as Chan’s caregiver. His feelings weren’t conditional, and he couldn’t figure out why that was so difficult for the other to grasp. “You don’t have to keep building walls. We’re not going to love you any less just because you’re feeling particularly vulnerable or weak. Just like it’s your job to keep our heads above water, it’s _our_ job to make sure you don’t drown in the process. We’re a team.”

Chan hated when Woojin got all sensible on him, and hated the fact that he made him think about things from an outsider’s perspective. Things would be so much easier if it were just Chan’s way or no way. He holds his breath for a moment as he leans forward and catches a tear on his finger, smearing it across Woojin’s cheekbone as lightly as possible. He was beautiful, even with tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes, and Chan allows himself a minute to soak in the beauty that was Woojin. _His_ Woojin, who Chan only now realized had been hurting just as bad as he was. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, breath hot on Woojin’s cheek. “I didn’t realize that my actions were having the same effect on you, too.”

“It’s affecting us all,” Woojin whispers. “I’m just the only one with enough balls to say it.” He pulls Chan into a tight hug, bringing the younger into his lap while pressing soft, loving kisses against his shoulder blades. “I love you so fucking much. More than I can even begin to comprehend. I just want you to feel comfortable and safe enough with me to be able to de-stress in whatever way you see fit, whenever you think it’s necessary. You don’t need to keep everything bottled up like you have been.”

Chan nods, unable to say anything else without crying. Woojin was right. They were a team, and being a team meant playing like one, even if it meant displaying weakness. “I love you so much. I don’t deserve everything you’ve done and put up with just for me, but I promise it’s going to get better. That _I’m_ going to get better. Just promise not to leave me until I get there.”


End file.
